Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
