if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
