The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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