Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
