yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
