Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
