you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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