remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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