I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
