you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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