You smell like stripper and shame
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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