How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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