I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
sex in a hospital.. check
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
