how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
