Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
