bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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