Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Alive.
So much puke
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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