Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
