I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
