Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
