I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
