Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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