I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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