You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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