I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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