Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wish my penis had a tongue
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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