her vagine was all disorganized.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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