You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.