I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.