It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...