walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
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he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter