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• (386): View more from Florida

  That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Apparently hers is a theme park.

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• (805): View more from California

  Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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  21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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  23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  "Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years

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• (212): View more from New York

  Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15

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