But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just blew my weed a kiss
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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