dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
