I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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