I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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