you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
