I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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