My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
