I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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