Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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