I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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