I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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