I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
