Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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