The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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