I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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