The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
