As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
