Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
