rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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