In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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