WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
