According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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