The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
