So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you win again, gameday.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
