do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need moral support for this bender
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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