so that wasnt chicken after all
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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