Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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