Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
