Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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