we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
